I have learned from experience that happiness is an acquired skill. There is always something to complain about, even in the best of times. Happiness is not an objective reality so much as a subjective decision. Chronic complainers miss the boat.
Many people are addicted to suffering and have a mental habit of pointing out the worst in people or situations. Not only are they robbing themselves of joy, but their failure to appreciate all the goodness that life has to offer actually diminishes all that good. Both our blessing and our condemnation have power. Thinking that something is bad has the power to make it so in our experience.
Children are one of the greatest lessons in happiness, constantly challenging us to enjoy the moment, as the next one will not be the same.
I have lived large parts of my life in wonderful circumstances that I utterly failed to appreciate. Reasons to be happy were everywhere, but somehow I didn’t connect with them. It was as though I was eating but couldn’t taste the food. Finally, I’ve learned to celebrate the good while it’s happening. I feel gratitude and praise today for what are sometimes such simple pleasures. I have learned that happiness is not determined by circumstances. Happiness is not what happens when everything goes the way you think it should go; happiness is what happens when you decide to be happy.
Gratitude is essential to happiness. Developing a grateful attitude—knowing that every time we arrive somewhere safely, we have something to be happy about; every time our children rush up to us and smile, we have something to be happy about; every time we get out of bed and can take a deep breath and go out for a walk, we have something to be happy about—that is the essence of a happy existence. Happiness is a muscle we must use, or it will wither away.
Whatever we focus on is bound to expand. Where we see the negative, we call forth more negative. And where we see the positive, we call forth more positive. Having loved and lost, I now love more passionately. Having won and lost, I now win more soberly. Having tasted the bitter, I now savor the sweet.
